Professor Jadesola Akande

Rest in peace.

I remember those days in The University of Ibadan. Wandering the campus with my over sized glasses and my ankara tops. I was always in the Faculty of Arts hanging at the court yard listening to people talk and reading the notice boards. I made so many friends in that Faculty some who are still in my life today.
Sometimes I wish I had the courage to change from Law to Dramatic Art or something that 'ridiculous' or maybe Psychology or even drop out of school completely. I guess we would never know how that would have turned out.

During one of my numerous visit to the courtyard I read a notice about a talk at the Institute of African Studies if I can remember correctly and amongst the numerous speakers were 2 women who I admire greatly Professors Bolanle Awe and Jadesola Akande. I dragged my BBF Joc along to the event. Joc wasn't 'crazy' ( she had her head in her books) like me but would readily follow me to any of such symposiums, poetry reading, or seminars as long as there was food. I remember how we would go to the conference center on campus and seat listening to long talks which had no meaning or relevance to our Law of Torts or Jurisprudence just so we can have a drink and just hang around 'intellectuals'.Those days were fun.( This was before wind of fellowships blew and it was almost impossible to get away from any activity that wasn't church related. Story for another post)

I love life on campus. I had dreams yet unfulfilled. I could see myself be all that I want to be and much more. I look at these women and I knew I just had to reach out and grab it. I once took a job on campus doing research work for one of my Lecturers. I had to read loads and loads of books. I read so much about Prof Jadesola Akande and her late Husband Debo Akande. I would pause and wonder what the conversation would be like at the dinner table? How their children would relate to them? Both of them so brilliant in their own right. I have read s many interviews about about them and it was clear that she indeed knew how to juggle the many 'balls' we have to juggle as women and through it all never lost her sense of purpose.

She was very passionate about the falling standard of education. She was a disciplinarian. She was all to many. I remember my last encounter with her was at a talk she gave at the Lady Kofo Abayomi Hall in UI. I was in my final year and Joc and I went to listen to her speak in between lectures. She was talking about empowering the girl child and the pro life choices. She also talked about the importance of sex education. She told us she was constantly learning new things. She was learning to use the computer so she doesn't become outdated. I still have pictures from that event. It was the International Women's day.

She was at the event held in Lagos to celebrate Chief Gani Fawehinmi's 70th Birthday. To learn of her death in her sleep is shocking! I screamed in pain when I saw the Newspapers. I regret never walking up to her to say how much I admire her. I regret never going to the Onikan address of the NGO to see and volunteer like I wanted to so many times.

The lesson is clear there is no time like the present. Why leave till tomorrow what you can do today.

More than ever before I know now I have to set forth at dawn if I want to get to my destination. The road is long and the journey hard but then the race is not to the swift.

Rest in peace.

The 300m Scam.

For some crazy reason I actually think Prof Adenike Grange is innocent. I wont say she is naive and was set up but she should know better. She did a honourable thing resigning (we all know that is not a naija thing to do. Etteh and co) She also takes the 'responsibility and not the blame’ (sounds like Akon abi) its all semantics if you ask me.

But some things are true. She is a Professor of Pediatrics and the President of the International Body of Pediatrician. I have 2 children under 5 and I know how ‘difficult’ that aspect of medicine is compared to O& G or Community Health. Next to Neuro Surgeon they are the crème la crème of Medical Professions if you ask me.( I hope I don’t start a war)

She has also taught for several years in the University. I know about 10 of her ex students and a few of her colleagues in LUTH and they are all unanimous in their feeling that the story just doesn’t add up. She didn’t run of to Cuba like the Senate Committee on Health Chairman. She is facing it squarely and boldly. I don’t think she is guilty. She is not running which means she has nothing to hide. I will like to believe though that if she was guilty she will be trying as hard

The Federal Ministry of Health is very big. I would reckon there would be several snail speed bureaucratic processes for getting things done. She has just being there barely a year. How much could she have known in the short period? People will only tell you what they think you need to know. They never tell you what you need to know. She has never served in Public office and all her experience really is with dealing with children in her work as a Pediatrician and in the Private sector. She was working with some International Agency on Vaccines I think before she was appointed Minister of Health.

I strongly believe Ignorantia juris non excusat but then its still early days of the arraignment. I think keeping her in custody is unnecessary and she should be granted bail. This is the Naija of Alams,Ibori, Abacha and in most recent past Obasanjo( Checkout the Power sector probe going on). She should be brought to justice if she is found guilty by a court of competent jurisdiction. I hope for her sake that she walks away. I'm sure she is asking herself if the past 9 months was necessary.

She probably did more as a private citizen than as the Health Minister. I respect those who are not career politicians. Men and women who actually go into elective offices because the want a change and not business and usual. I will recommend getting in early so you don't get blown away by the several human and political landmines. If you really cant swim with the sharks in the deep blue ocean, stay on the beach and resist the urge to get lured in.

Can a Woman have it all....?

I woke up this morning angry,( I went to bed angry by the way). My anger was fuelled by the fact that the singular most important man in my life( there are many important men in my life) could just not read the handwriting on the wall.The details of which are irrelevant to this post. I make it a point to strike when the iron is hot cos by nature once that moment is lost and I'm no longer fuming it is gone. I can not hold malice or bear a grudge; ask me a week or a couple of hours after the occurrence and i might not be able to tell what it was that set me off even when I'm hurting badly ( but I'm becoming a a fast learner which is bad).
I said my piece in anger and stormed out of the room to carry on with other chores.

As I rode to work all I could think of how 'marginalised' i felt and at what point will enough be enough especially when the other person doesn't seem to take you seriously. I thought of all the married women I knew my mother inclusive and all the 'issues' they all seem to have. I also reflected on the ones in public life, the Okonjo Iweala, Dora Nafadac, Oby etc etc etc and wondered what 'breed' their men were. What issues do they have to grapple with? Are they really happy or is it all a facade? Do they really have it all? By that I mean, successful marriage, careers and good children? Cos for me success in one and not the other isn't it. You have to have it all. i dont agree with that saying that as a woman you have to make a choice career or marriage. That all bullsht. I also don't agree a woman who can be working and making a difference or be an employer of labour should just stay home and take care of the children even though I agree its a lot of hard work.I asked myself, Can a woman have it all? Can Nonesuch have it all?

I got to the office and met a few of my colleagues ( all women ) having a chat. We were all married and I don't need to tell you what the hot topic of debate was. Uzo*'s marriage will be 30 years in December and Dupe* has being juggling all the balls for 13 years. Mo* and I have being married for 5 years. And from all that i gathered we all had issues, insecurities, and a desire for more.We also wanted to know if a woman can have it all. Uzo who has being at it for longer is more cynical. She is of the opinion that you cannot change a man and all you need to do is accept him the way he is and love him for who he is. Let me quote her, ' all those women you see are they really married? Most of them are just co habiting' that was her response to the women who appear to have it all. Dupe told a story of a classmate of hers who made a First Class Distinction about 20 years ago and whose husband says she couldn't go for a Masters Degree, let alone work. Bear in mind that women are about 48% of our population o. Isn't it foolish to make this percentage redundant like some would like?Dupe's is very unhappy and bitter but her children tell her not to worry they will make her proud by aspiring for all she wanted and more. African women just know how to take it in their strides and keep up appearances.Mo talked about a friend's mum who went back to school in her 40s and who is a Professor now.She married a man 20 year older than her. At the time he was busy building his career she was home having children. Now is old with Prostrate issues she is going after her dreams. ( that is almost funny) I know so many old miserable men with wives all over the world pursuing a careers in old age or taking care of their grandchildren while Baba has Okon the cook to keep him company. We went on and on and we didn't agree on anything but the fact that we all love our men. This Love they say is the reason we forgive and look the other way even when we know we deserve better. This love is why we are most times willing to help nurture and fulfill his dreams and aspiration when he doesn't even have a clue what your best food is or what shoe size you wear or understand why you so want to get another degree.This Love is why we get knocked up and start having children and put our careers on hold when he goes abroad for an MBA ( women have done that since forever and some are still doing it in the 21st century) even when our fathers are disappointed wondering what bug bit his daughter. This love is why you face VI traffic everyday, get home tired but still get into the kitchen to cook for him but he comes home and all he notices is that you smell of egusi.

The conversation was cut short when I had to go and attend to some issues and as I was going back to my desk a senior colleague from the office next door asked if I was free to attend an event with her.I accepted even though in my head I was wondering what did I just get myself into. I have a 1,001 chores to do and 1,002 people to see. But little did i know that I had an appointment with destiny ,luck whatever you might call it.My appointment was Ibukun Awosika even though i have know her for about 4 plus years now she was saying something I needed to hear. I was at the event for about 15 mins but it was worth every second. She talked to me directly and I'm glad I listened.

I know now without a D.O.U.B.T in my mind that a woman can have it all. Nobody said it will be easy but yes it is achievable. She is an example that you can do it all. I'm not going to settle for less. I'm NOT giving up on my Oyo man he will read and comprehend that which is written on the wall. Maybe he needs a dictionary or a thesaurus or a language instructor but he will read and understand. And at the end of the day it will be worth all the sacrifices and the 'scars' in my heart will all be part of the success story.