5 years and Counting

Today its 5 years that I said, I do. I remember how we meet and the whirlwind romance.I remember asking you that morning minutes before we walked into the Registry if you were sure you wanted to go ahead with the wedding. It is a big bold decision I said and I will understand if you if we should wait awhile.You assured me I need not fear, that I was more than enough for you. You couldn't have made a better choice you said.

I wanted a small quite wedding with just a couple of witnesses from both sides. I remember you were so not convinced that we were going to get our wish. My Aunt had an ace up her sleeve. How could I be getting married without a reception,cakes and dancing. One after the other her friends and family showed up at the Registry is Purple gele. After the vows were said she announced that was going to be a reception at the Restaurant near by. We were shocked beyond words and could not comprehend what part of small and quite my folks didn't understand. The reception was grand and there was Cake and dancing and my Flo J's Hubby (then Boyfriend) recited a beautiful poem in our honor.

We couldn't have asked for a better wedding day.

Five years and 2 boys after I thank God I made the choice to marry you. This is not to say we don't have our drama. ( we have enough to last 2 lifetimes) But through it all your Love and Respect has never being in question. ( OK may be a couple of times) You have supported and helped nurture my hopes and my dreams. (even if i dont acknowledge your contributions loud enough) You have being a stabilising factor to my hot head. You love me unconditionally and most importantly you hold no grudge.Even when the 'storms' of live come raging , threatening to consume us, I never lost faith in your God given ability to get us to the promise land.
We are not at the destination yet but I know we will get there. (Though battered and bruised yet never giving up knowing all that we experience are together making us better)

For the gift of loving me unconditionally I say thank you. For the Boys( Senior Boy and Old Man) who make my life complete and makes all the sacrifices worthwhile I will forever be grateful. For the insight you give to my worrying heart and the words you use to express my unfounded fears. For cheering me on in the race of life and helping me build 'this house' brick after brick.For constantly telling me what will worrying do?, whats the worse that can happen?, why do you like chasing shadows, why must you always have a Plan ? I wish to hate you.
For loving the Boys more than me ,I'm' jealous'.For loving your Mum the way you do, I reassured. For letting me make my own mistakes and not saying I told you so ,I'm glad( cos I cant resist gloating) For not being the R in Romance and not making an effort most time I want to scream URRRGHHH!!!!!

Even as we look forward to the next 5 years I wish above all things that it will be well with you. That you will make more efforts on the little things that count. That you will reach out for more because you have all you need to live a life of SIGNIFICANCE cos that what really matters.I wish that you will listen to me more and realise that 'I'm always right'. That you will fulfill purpose. That you will be willing to hear me talk even if you just want to roll over and sleep. More than anything else that we will be united in discipline when the boys are concerned and that you will stay and help me nurture and watch them grow.

Happy 5th Wedding Anniversary.

The Long weekend is over

The next day was sunday and i had to catch the 8.00am flight back to Lagos. It was indeed a very long weekend and i thoroughly enjoyed myself.

Later in the afternoon the Groom's family will be hosting the last event which is a Luncheon welcoming the Bride to the family.

This kind of wraps up the wedding post.

The Dinner and The Wedding Night

I guess I should just post the concluding part of the wedding . The day after the Kai Amariya is the dinner party. The morning is spent in the couple's house with the bride and her friends helping her to play hostess as people troop in to view the house. Every guest who comes in is given a tour of the house. The have to see every room and corner of the house. Some even test the wedding bed for firmness. That was so hilarious as it was the older women who were doing this. The Bride's Step Mum sent food early in the morning. The Ango(Groom)'s sister ( by the way he has 13 sisters) also sent enough food to feed an Army.

I decided it was time for me to see a little of Kaduna. I called up Ahmed(we were in Law School together) who knew I would be in town if we could meet. I saw him last exactly Four years 10 days ago(don't ask me but Ahmed remembered) that was during our call to Bar ceremony in Abuja. We have however kept in touch through the telephone. We have shared news and victories and sadness and anxiety over the past 4 years so it was indeed very good to see him again. We almost lost him to sickle cell crisis in January by Thanks be to Allah he pulled through.Glory be to God in the highest.

I also wanted to see my In Laws in Kuru Masi. My broda is married to a Yoruba girl who lived all her life in Kaduna. Her parents still live there. It was an opportunity to see them and say hello.Ahmed arrived and he couldn't come into the house as he is male and not family and the Groom isn't in.Married women are not suppose to be receiving male guest when hubby isnt home. I think it just reasonable. we had to sit in his car and play catch up. We had so much to talk about.He was now working after about 3 years of searching for the right job(his health was a major factor to consider). He suggested he drive me to see my in laws and off we went. They were glad to see me. Apparently their daugther told them i would be in town, the old man said i would be too busy to stop by to say hello but the mother was sure i would come even if it was briefly. I was glad i stopped by.

Back in the house another drama was unfolding. Patience who was suppose to help the bride with household chores was suppose to come over and assist because now it was a full house .People were coming in thier hundreds. Amariya was informed reliably that Patience just had a baby 2 weeks ago. That could not be possible. She had being on the Bride's payroll since January She came in begging and saying she will bring her sista as a replacement. That was just so messy anyway She settled for the sister.

Ango I guess just couldnt bear to be away from his Bride. He stopped by briefly to say hello to his wife. His sistas would not allow him enter but he insisted that he had a right to go into his house. He came in said his hello and off he was again.

Then it was time to start getting ready for the Dinner party. We were all decked up in our best attires. The Groom came to pick the Bride and I up and off we were to the venue. The hall was transformed with lights and all the trimmings. Holy Mallam was the MC/Comedian. We were ushered in dancing to Sunny Nneji's Oruka. Food was fabulous. I saw a couple of old friends from Law School. Ahmed couldn't come though cos he has to rest. Then the best part of the Dinner.....Dancing

The band was from Abuja. The singing was beautiful and your truly danced the night away. I had so much fun it was unbelievable. I didnt stop dancing till the Band switched off and called it a day. That was at about 2am. Then we went home to get my bags as I was being officially kicked out. Tonite is the night He will make her his woman.

I have to stop now. I will conclude this in the next post I promise

Sa Lalle

The bride is my one of my friends. We met in Bwari village in 2003 half way through our program at the Law school. Those days are gone never to return. Life in Bwari was 'short, brutish', and all about passing the Bar exams. Her room which she shared with her sista was just a few doors away from mine. We soon got together to study and in turned developed a friendship that continues to blossom till date.

I met the groom last September when I went up North for the Introduction of my broda.He was very warm and pleasant and it was quite easy to talk to him. Apparently his beauty has told him about him and vice versa.It wasn't difficult to see he why he was special and i couldn't help but ask in my characteristic blunt manner when the wedding would be. i also went ahead to set a date of mid 2007. Heaven must have said Amen cos today they are man and wife.

I was back in the North in January I was again up North for my Broda's wedding and my friend was aware crossing the tees and doting the iiiis for the wedding. Excitement was in the air even when i spoke wt her and her sista.
She came to Lagos a couple of times during the planning but somehow we didn't get to see. The date was fixed and all roads lead to Anguwa Rimi.

i took the 1st flight out of town there was so much activity lined up to celebrate the wedding in customary Hausa tradition. The grooms family are very much into tradition so we were going all the way. I was excited for my friend and happy to be part of the experience. A mutual Friend of ours was on the same flight and her brodas were waiting to pick us at the airport. she was travelling with her children so we had our hands full.

I got to the Bride's home and she was so happy to see me. Everybody knew who I was even though I was meeting most of them for the 1st time. I recognised so many faces from pictures and I was glad to finally match voices over the phone with faces.It was a very warm and rousing welcome. A good sign of things to come. I went to see the Bride and dear Salla was perfecting her henna painting craft. she was doing the legs and then the arms and all. I looked on has she drew lines after line and rows of shapes and flowers her hands unshaken straight and perfect. It was indeed Salla at her best.

That was the final part of the preparations that had started very early in the morning. She has sat on incense in purification rites,waxed and removed all bodily hair that were considered to be obstructive, and she was oiled and massaged to a shimmering perfection. She was indeed ready for her groom.

The 1st major event of the wedding proceeding was the Sa Lalle wch literally means applying henna on the Bridewas that evening. This event was going to take place in her Grandma's house. The groom's family is suppose to according to tradition, bring henna and perfume and all wat nots to adorn their bride. The brides Aunts and Mothers will be there also offering advise and praying for her. Before the Ango's family can get access to the Bride they have to pass through the 'gates' and cross the 'hurdles' mounted by the Amariya's friends of which yours truly was at the fore front. You would think I understood the language.Language was not a barrier we all knew why we were there. Most interesting was one of the Bride's friend who happens to be a niece of the groom. She joined in the haggle for the gate fee and her folks asked jokingly which side of the divide she was representing and she gleefully told them she was there for her friend the Amariya. The door to the room where Dij sat all covered up was not opened till some good old naira changed hands. The women went in sprayed her with perfume and all then she was ushered out of the room in company of her friends to the dance floor where a local crooner was busy with his band.Trust me Yoruba owambe chick it wasn't long before i was grooving to the music sprain ankle long forgotten.

All that the amariya wore that even from the atampa(ankara) and veil and slippers were provided by the Ango's family. In line with tradition she would give it all away to an old lady within the family for prayers and more blessings.

The dancing and eating continued till late in the night.

One event down 5 to go.